24/7 Gambling Bonuses

[Penny]

Lets have some good jokes in here ....

[Penny]

The wife waited impatiently, rolling pin in hand, for her husband to come home from his late night poker game. As his car pulled in the drive, she positioned herself near the door for his entrance. The door opened and she shook the rolling pin at him menacingly. "Where have you been?" she shouted.

The man held up his hands in a defensive posture, "Now honey," he said, " I know you're mad that I'm late, but before we talk about that, I think you should know its even worse than you realize. You see, I lost you at the game tonight. Sam re-raised me down to the felt, and all I had left was you. I had to put you in the pot....and....I lost. You should go pack your things."

Stunned, the wife took a step back. "You lost?" she said softly, lowering the rolling pin. "How could you do that?"

"Well," answered the husband, "It wasn't easy. I had to fold four-of-a-kind on the river."

[twenty47]

No offense to women, but I couldn't stop laughing when I heard this one:

Why did God invent yeast infection?

So women will know what it feels like to live with an annoying$#@^@^%2 tooo

PS/ I'm female and this is hillarious!

[Sand]

play nice

[pompeyrayuk]

Some people just seem to have a lot of luck.
A friend of mine is one of those card players who can almost always draw whatever he needs to win a hand in poker, but loses big time at the races.
I asked him about this once and he replied,
"Well ... they won't let me shuffle the horses will they the bastards."

A Irishman was playing $10/$20 hold’em and was stuck about $300 down when he looked down beside the table and saw a little green leprechaun.
"Quit playing poker forever right now and I'll give you a pot of gold worth a million dollars.", said the little fellow.
The player replied,
"Let me get even first."


Little Johnnie had just turned six and much to his parents' bewilderment, had never spoken.Not a word.
Johnnie's Grandpa, a well-known local poker player, was sympathetic to Johnnie's plight, and would take Johnnie with him whenever possible.
One regular bonding between grandpa and grandson was at the Elks Club Saturday night $10/$20 hold'em game.
Johnnie would sit on grandpa's lap and faithfully watch as grandpa regularly cleaned out the town council members, local attorney's and judges.

Alas, one Saturday night, grandpa seemed to be missing every flop, and was on the verge of tilt for the first time ever. Near the end of the evening in a capped pot, with grandpa on the button, he looked at his cards only to see 2-7 off. Furious at his run of bad luck, grandpa splashed the pot with a call.

Johnnie looked up at his grandpa and said, "You shouldn't have called that bet, papa."

Grandpa was stunned. "Johnnie, you're six years old, and these are the first words you've ever spoken!"

Johnnie looked at grandpa and said, "Well, up till now, you've been playing just fine."